Someone being a
in your inbox?
Forward their email to the address below. Your digital bodyguard will take it from here.
Our Engagement Protocol.
ASSIGN
You receive a hostile or counter-productive email. Instead of engaging, you forward it. The contract is now active.
ENGAGE
Our operative analyzes the target's communication for weaknesses—tone, subtext, and logical fallacies. A surgically precise response is crafted to neutralize the threat.
RELAX
The target is engaged directly. A confirmation receipt—with a full transcript of the takedown—is sent to your inbox for review. Consider the contract complete.
Confirmed Takedowns.
Case File #042: The Micromanaging Boss
INBOUND: "Just a gentle reminder..."
AI RESPONSE: "Acknowledged. My client's focus is allocated to tasks of a higher priority than managing your anxiety. Your 'gentle reminders' have been logged as low-value interruptions and will be factored into future threat assessments. No further action is required from you."
Case File #117: The Unsolicited "Feedback" Guy
INBOUND: An unsolicited email explaining why your project is wrong.
AI RESPONSE: "Your unsolicited tactical analysis has been intercepted. While your confidence is noted, your conclusions are based on incomplete intelligence. My client's strategy is proceeding as planned. This communication channel is now being monitored for further low-signal transmissions."
Case File #256: The "Per My Last Email" Coworker
INBOUND: "Per my last email..."
AI RESPONSE: "Indeed. I have the data packet you refer to. Its contents have been processed. And yet, the fundamental heat death of the universe continues unabated, and the information you require remains exactly where it was. A more direct query might yield a more efficient result."
Analyze the Threat.
Paste a snippet of a suspicious email below for a real-time threat assessment.
Awaiting intelligence...
Rules of Engagement. (Our handlers insisted.)
- We Don't Start Fights, We Finish Them. This is a forwarding service only. You can't just tell it to email someone out of the blue.
- We Read the Room. The AI's snark level adjusts. A slightly annoying coworker gets a different roast than a truly vile troll.
- Surgical Strikes. Each reply is signed by the AI, providing you with plausible deniability. The message will subtly reference you, ensuring the recipient understands its origin without your direct involvement.
- Use Your Powers For Good. Or, you know, for petty revenge. We're not your mom.
For entertainment purposes only. Use of this service may result in confused coworkers, burned bridges, or an unexpected promotion. We are not responsible for any outcome, hilarious or otherwise.
Your Inbox is a Battlefield.
Your Bodyguard is Standing By.
Copy the address. Forward the email. Reclaim your peace of mind.